Dear Survivor

Dear victim of domestic violence,

I wish I could tell you all the things which were so apparent to me. You believed all the lies which your partner told you. You had been pushed down and silenced so often, that it was easier to believe the lies than risk standing up for yourself. I wish I could tell you how special you are. I wish I could tell you how beautiful and unique you are. I wish I could tell you about all the wonderful things I watched you do regardless of how hard they were, and tell you what a great job you did. I wish I could show you the beautiful soul you have. I wish I could show you how talented and amazing you are. I wish I could show you how strong you are. I wish you believed me when I tell you how strong you are. There are few people in the world capable of enduring the hand you’ve been dealt, but you managed it all the best you could and you survived. You made the best of that hand, and you never gave up. Not once. I wish I could tell you that you are the only person who has felt alone, abused, hurt, neglected, unloved or unlovable, but you know it’s not true. So many women have sat in the chair you are now in. You are not alone. I wish I could tell you it gets easier with time, but that’s not true for everyone. I wish I could show you what you look like in the eyes of your children. They look up to you and watch your every move. They think you are the best parent ever. They love you more than you can ever imagine. I wish I could show you what your future holds so you can prepare for it. I wish I could tell you about all the wonderful things you can look forward to and all the ways this experience will change you. I wish I could make the hurting stop. I wish I could make your abuser stop doing the things which hurt you, not just the physical pain, but all the other hurt you’ve endured. I wish I could save you. I wish there was a way to put you into a bubble of pure joy where no sadness would ever touch you again, but I can’t. I wish I could be there for you when you are hurting, to comfort you and dry your tears and tell you it’ll be better soon, and know that it will be. I wish I could help you go back in time and undo the choices which led you to this. Hindsight is both a blessing and such a curse for you. I wish I could do more for you. I know what your barriers and needs are, but sometimes there just aren’t enough resources for all of them. I wish I could help ease your burden every time you need me to. I wish I could give you more tools to help you cope. I wish I could help you change your unhealthy coping skills. I wish you didn’t need these coping skills to begin with. I wish I could protect you. I wish there was something I could do which made you less vulnerable. I’m sorry that someone took advantage of your loving heart. I wish that the systems in this world supported you better. I know how frustrating it can be to seek help but be unable to gain justice. I wish I could take away your anger. It’s truly infuriating to feel like you have no control over your own life. I understand. Most of all, I wish you joy, the greatest joy you’ve ever experienced in your entire life, and I wish you to be able to enjoy that joy with your whole heart. I wish you peace. I wish that you can find someone who truly loves and deserves to be with an awesome person like you are. You truly deserve it. I wish that you live the rest of your life free from violence, that no one ever victimizes you again. You give others hope who will sit in this chair in the future. I wish that you would get to tell your story and that it would empower you. Your story is unique and needs to be told. I wish you pride in what you’ve done, it wasn’t an easy road. Lastly I wish you all the best. I don’t know where your story goes from here, but I am so grateful to have been able to be a part of it. So thank you for sharing with me. I am a better person, a better friend and a better advocate because of you. You have been such a blessing to me in more ways than you can ever imagine.

With much love and many blessings,

Your advocate