The end of April

April has been a tough month for me. It’s had ups and downs. The new man and I have done a lot of “discussing” (aka arguing) about various subjects. We’re hitting that 3 month window when things aren’t new anymore, and we’re still finding out about one another. In our discussions, I’ve found out more about his ex than I have about him, which is a little frustrating. I wonder if it’s because he’s just such a simple guy. I don’t say that like it’s a bad thing. I love simple. It’s drama free.

Now my life on the other hand, is not simple. I’ve been through some shit, some of which I’ve shared and other parts I haven’t. Needless to say that some of that drama came up in our discussions, and caused a bit of friction in my current relationship.

I guess from my perspective it was no big deal. Just something that happened in the past that I’ve moved on from. Apparently from his perspective it was a big deal, I think the reason is that it changed the way he thought about me. He had pictured my past in a certain way, he had pictured it a lot like his past. But my past and his past are nothing alike! Not at all.

All this has caused a little bit of strain on things, but I think it’s getting better now. Hopefully we’ll work through things and it’ll all be fine.


It’s Running Season!

Here we go! Shoes on, legs ready to go! It’s running season and I’m totally hitting the ground running every single time!

Last weekend was my first 5K race. It was about 25 degrees outside, so it was chilly and windy!! Brr! Barring all of those obstacles, I got an amazing time of 36:40! I’m thoroughly impressed with myself.

There’s something beautiful about putting your feet to the pavement and watching the world fly by beside you. There’s something grounding about listening to your breathing, your foot falls and the sounds of nature around you. Feel the sun on your face and the wind in your hair.

Some people can’t run without music, but I can’t run with music! There’s too much outside to enjoy. I like to be able to take it all in. I like to see, hear and feel everything I possibly can.

Now 5 years ago I did NOT run. I haven’t always been a runner. My decision to run came after I got bored on my break one day and got myself into some trouble. After that I started walking on my breaks to keep myself busy. I started with 8 blocks in an hour. That’s it. As the weeks went on I added more and more blocks and I began to jog a few blocks.

Eventually I was coming back from my break so sweaty that it was no longer feasible to run on my breaks. I switched to running in the mornings and I started at 2 miles a day for 5-6 days a week. I’m much more reasonable now and only go about 3 miles 3-5 times a week. If I really push myself I’ll do less workouts to let my muscles heal better.

There’s so much freedom in running. You get to choose where you go. You get to choose how long. You get to choose how fast. You get to choose what you wear. You get to choose how you do it. You get to choose streets, sidewalks or trails. You get to chose whether or not you compete. Every other form of exercise has some kind of rule, but with running the only rule is whether or not you do it!

The plan is to run another 20 5K races this year and possibly a 10K. We’ll see where I get on it, but I should be able to. I figure this will be the last year I’ll be able to do this many races both because my body is getting older (and knees especially) and because soon I hope to be busy with family things… maybe that will take another few years. Who the heck knows anymore?! I certainly don’t.

Run. I dare you.