Something I discovered fairly young in my life is just how much hate there is in this world! I have always been an odd duck. I’m not afraid to speak the honest truth even when it’s not something the other person wants to hear. I know myself (apparently much better than some other people) and I’m not afraid to express that. I’ve never really been interested in “fitting in” or being trendy. I’ve always been ok with standing out, standing up for what I believe in, and defending the little guy.
I’ve never considered myself popular. In fact, in school I was rejected from most every group I was a part of at one point or another. I was even rejected from the group people considered the “rejects”! But this by no means meant that I had no friends. I have always had plenty of friends from a variety of different circles, many of them I’ve had around since I was very young. One of my best friends I’ve known since we were 4!
The biggest part of someone being my friend is that this person will receive love from me. I don’t like my friends, I love them. If I consider someone my friend, I will fully support them, give them everything and anything. This includes loaning them items which are mine, donating my time with them (or sometimes their children), going shopping, listening to them, counseling them, helping them move out of their ex-boyfriend’s house, letting them sleep on my couch.
But I don’t just spread the love to my friends, I also spread it to strangers. I buy the order for the person behind me at the drive through. I’ve paid for other people’s groceries at the supermarket. I donate to charities. I give warm coffee or cool drinks to pan handlers. I’ve picked up a hitch hiker… but I don’t recommend doing that. I volunteer my time, money and talents in any way I am able. I run 5K races for good causes.
The hardest part of how I spread love is when I am showing love to someone who clearly doesn’t agree with me, who has been cruel to me, or someone who I know doesn’t appreciate the love I’m showing to them. But I show them love anyway because this is a reflection of ME, not a reflection of them. Even if they don’t accept the love I’m giving out, I do it anyway because that’s what I want to do. I may do this in the form of a welcoming smile, helping in any of the above ways mentioned, or even just in forgiving them, which sometimes can be the most difficult thing of all.
Forgiving someone who has wronged you is one of the most difficult, but most loving things you will ever do in your life!
Nevertheless, it’s something you NEED to do! Sometimes when you tell someone else that you forgive them you will be met with a cold stare, disdain or apathy. I’ve even been met with cruel remarks like “I don’t need *YOUR* forgiveness. I did nothing wrong!” or worse. That doesn’t stop me. I believe that EVERYONE makes mistakes and EVERYONE deserves forgiveness. Maybe this won’t happen in a day, a week, a month or even YEARS, but eventually you will have to forgive those who have wronged you, acknowledge they made a mistake, and move on with your life.
Because spreading the love with hatred for someone else in your heart is IMPOSSIBLE.
Most important of all, don’t be afraid to love yourself. Love your weirdness. Love the things you do that drive other people crazy. Love your hair that never does what you want it to do. Love your hips which are just a little too wide for what you think they should be. Love your pudgy tummy. Go on, love it! It’s a part of who you are. There are other people in this world who are jealous of YOUR pudgy tummy. Believe it.
If you don’t like something about yourself, you have two choices: Learn to love it, or DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
If it’s something you don’t view as a problem or something which needs to change, then learn to love it. If it’s a problem, make a change. Complaining is not one of those choices. Jealousy is not one of those choices. Envy is not one of those choices. Being mean to others because you don’t like aspects of yourself is NOT one of those choices.
I have a lot of things that I’m not always confident about, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love every part of me.
So go on, get out there and start spreading some love. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be the right choice.